♥ 30 November 2005
chilly weather:
It spoils my plan for swimming up for a great tan,
but nevertheless,
it's great for snuggling up for a good reading treat;
but apparently, I have none.
Zz.
mood swings has been on the BEAR side.
when will my BULL come?
(only shares player will understand)
according to the old adage;
"A bad workman always blames his tools."
How true. Can I blame it on the weather?
seriously, the SMRT project is getting on my nerves.
why did I volunteer in the first place?
dumb me. I just threw myself into a fire pit.
I sure need endorphins, and stimulants.
gushes of them.
yet the sources of it, either seems wayy too tempting &
sinful-indulging,
or
one that requires HARD-CORE determination &
willpower, plus the rid of laziness and
"don't-feel-like mood".
Choking myself with words,music,
'Shape' and retail therapy are alternatives
to bring up my BULL (not stubborn) side.
Things are looking down for me.
Things that I'm excited for, seems to be heading nowhere.
rights,
It takes time.
2 days back while in my father's car, he popped reflecting questions:
"When did I last touched the Bible"
God knows.
distant drifting; yet I know my faith has not been shaken,
my beliefs were there,
cases of Him helping me out, having great plans for me, bringing beautiful things into my life
were vividly fresh.
Monsoon season approaches,
a downpour in my life would do me good.
chilly weather.
I have the urge to walk in the rain.
khaki anyone?
rubbishy thinkings has been running thru my head.
jolly well need to konked it out.
drats,PRIVACY!
everyone is doing that script prompt thingy!
SHUTS OFF*
I'm deprived; since young, till now.
I'm buried.
I'm dumb.
I'm hidden.
I'm dependent.
I'm doing nth to it.
Zz.
I want my own space,
& somehow, I'm gonna find and get it one day.
One day yea..
& may not the 3-minute enthusiasm last.
I want to see myself enriched,
drumming up,
experimenting & experiencing the messy facets of life.
sure do need a getaway, party, or a booze to
cast mindless things aside.
In the meantime, I should start planning ahead.
but given my character..
4 letters,
P-L-A-Y seems to be the flashing priority.
the way I am, I can't change my spots easily.
I don't wish to see myself in the fiasco pit.
or perhaps, colours & retail therapy,
and my other alternatives of stimulants
I should turn to.
___ @ 12:15!